If I asked you to identify a true loner, would you be able to?
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No, it’s not the kid that sits alone in the cafeteria.
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No, it’s not the kid with less than a 100 Instagram followers either.
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Contrary to popular belief, the true loner is the one surrounded by “friends” that are toxic yet remains in the friendship. The true loner is the one who believes that without their “friends” they would be nobody. The true loner is the one that lacks social independence and feels bound by invisible chains.
Now ask yourself, are you a loner?
Are you staying in a painfully toxic relationship just because you believe you have no one else to go to?
Research shows that concerns about friendships are near top on the list for what causes the most stress to teenagers. It’s crazy. With college admissions, classes, and puberty in existence, thoughts about a friend who you most likely won’t stay connected with after high school is causing so many teenagers to be stressed? Well, I’m sure not one to judge because I used to be one of those teenagers as well.
I used to have friends who would never be there for me, friends who would talk about me behind my back, and friends who offered nothing in the relationship. You might have been a loner or maybe you just now realize that you are one too. However, let me tell you that ridding yourself of toxic relationships will be the best thing you can do for yourself. I was scared at first to leave the toxic relationships. I would think “it will get better”, but it never would. I would concern myself about who I would hang out with after dropping those friends. However, I realized that those “friends” were not worth my thoughts, my concerns, and definitely not worth my cries.
You are valuable.
You do deserve better.
Furthermore, ask yourself this.... are you that toxic friend to somebody? Do you cry on their shoulder but never offer your shoulder in return? Are you “friends” with somebody you don’t even truly like? Why are you wasting your time (not by reading this but with the friendship of course)? I decided to ask some random people I know these questions as well. Here are the questions asked:
1) Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? Did you stay or did you leave? Why?
2) Have you ever been the toxic friend?
3) Have you ever been friends with someone you didn’t even like? Why?
4) What do you think about teens being in toxic friendships?
Some interesting responses I received for question one include:
Yes but I left because I know what's best for me.
Yes but I stayed because I was in love with the person.
Yes but only because I didn’t know they were toxic.
Yes I have, I was the butt of all the jokes in the group and I was basically the guy that they would pick on in the group. I only got out of it because I moved towns.
In response to question two:
No, none that I can think of.
Yes, I used to be a massive dick to my friends and that’s probably why I couldn’t hold a friendship for more than a year.
Yes, I was selfish and rude to my friends. I would constantly tell them I hate them when I was just trying to act cool.
In response to question three:
Yes because I felt if I got to know them better things could change.
Yes, people say I’m fake for it but I think the better word for it is that I’m a professional. I asked, “Why do you waste your time with people you don’t like?” At the end of the day I believe that we will be able to get along so I just keep giving them chances.
Yes, I had to stay friends with this person because I would lose other friends that were close to them.
Yes I have. It was because he didn’t have any friends so I pitied him.
In response to question four:
Talk to them but if things don’t work out leave because staying in them can cause many issues later on.
It is really unhealthy and is not good for anyone.
I recommend finding new friends that aren’t going to hurt them because it’s not good in the long run.
What do you think about these answers? I’ll soon post a part 2 that addresses these responses, hopefully your thoughts, and a conclusion for the topic. Thank you so much for reading!