If you haven’t read a True Loner part 1, you really should. I can assure you that you’ll be 100% confused without prior knowledge. Now, lets jump into the juicy details.
In True Loner part 1, I asked the following question to a teen of my friends:
1) Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? Did you stay or did you leave? Why?
2) Have you ever been the toxic friend?
3) Have you ever been friends with someone you didn’t even like? Why?
4) What do you think about teens being in toxic friendships?
Obviously many people stay in toxic friendships. Apart from my own personal experience, it was also the consistent amount of people I saw in toxic friendships that motivated me to write about it. Humans by nature need other human interaction and human acceptance. However, people get so caught up in having so many friends or getting so much attention that they don’t think about how it makes them feel. This can be displayed with people with 20 friends but none of them truly make them happy. Perhaps it’s also that person with 10 friends but only likes spending time with two. Even worse, the person who is friends with someone they don’t like just to gain something superficial. Like toxic romantic relationships, many stay in toxic friendships rather than leave. Why?
Pretty much for the same reasons. Let me tell you now, if it was going to get better then it would. If you were supposed to be true friends, then you would be. I value the connections I instantly make with people. The people that I automatically find a common ground with as if it was just simply meant to be. It’s not bad to work a bit harder to make friends however, it shouldn’t be a to point where you become uncomfortable. In the end, being in a toxic friendship does not make you a friendly person. It only makes you someone in a toxic friendship.
In response to question 2, where I asked if they had ever been a toxic friend, most of my friends answered “no” or “they did not think so”. It is important to look at yourself, evaluate yourself, and work to improve yourself. Fortunately, I had a few responses that were yes. They understood the feelings of the friends they hurt, and they were actively making sure that the same would not occur again. I have a lot of respect for those in that situation and I have a challenge for you. Think of your past and current friendships and think of how you could have been a better friend or how you can be a better friend right now. Think of a friendship that isn’t making you happy right now. How can you heal your friendship? Is the past the point of no return?
No one wants to be a loner, so don’t be a true loner. Please feel free to share your experience with toxic friendships or relationships in the comments!
