BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA-- Appearing tranquil and composed, though his fingers occasionally rubbed his khakis with clear anxiety, no one would have recognized the same Ambrose Jeffery who stormed his boss's office, yelling and cussing at her until he was dragged away by security. This was in response to his seemingly dubious lay off the previous day.
"She ain't got no right to do that," he said, commenting further on his boss, Anna Phelps, a 30-year-old University of Pennsylvania cum laude graduate.
"You know what, she shouldn't even be there. She only got it by sleeping around. I know broads, they're all catty shrews. Why else would she lay me off? I've been there since she was a baby."
His testimony proved mostly accurate. After dropping out of high school, Ambrose got a factory job, along with several thousand other workers, before his now former employer took over the company. His frustration stemmed from the fact that Phelps hired women of different ethnic backgrounds to higher positions, despite the fact that most of the women received their higher education at prestigious schools such as UCLA, Emory, and Duke University.
"I read in them books: what she doing is, frankly, very sexist and very racist. I got a racist layoff and sexist pay gap. Why do them newbies get more money then the rest of us? Cuz they're colored women, that's why."
He speaks with anger plastered over his face, but keeps his voice level, tugging up his red MAGA cap proudly.
"You see this right here? My man knows what to do with broads: grab 'em and win. And that's exactly what I will do. In fact, I'll get her kicked out."
Henrietta Jones-Jeffrey, Ambrose's mother, expresses a different opinion.
"I'm quite worried 'bout my baby boy. He ain't been himself since the lay off. Usually, he yells at his wife, but now he won't even come home for dinner."
She wipes her eyes on her gingham apron, continuing heatedly. "You know, we white folks have it harder than ever in this country. I think we gonna be 'ginalized soon, starting with my poor Bobo. Those nasty women! Get out of our country!"
True to his word, and to the comfort of Henrietta, Ambrose filed a formal lawsuit with the help of his legal connection, who is a janitor at the local law firm.
"I think his case has some legal basis, like habeas corpus and amicus curiae." Says the prominent connection, without a trace of doubt. "This will be as easy as pie!"
We reached out to a representative for Phelps, who declined to comment, though sending warm regards to her former employee through the use of a single finger.